This column is by Janet Stanton, Partner, Adam Smith, Esq.

Slogans just don’t work for law firms.  This from a girl who spent the better part her career working with organizations that often lived or died by their taglines: “Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee,” “We don’t make the products you buy. We make the products you buy better,” “Packed with peanuts, Snickers really satisfies,” “Be All You Can Be,” etc.

In fairness, slogans rarely work for any professional service firm. Why?  It’s just really hard to pithily encapsulate the intangible aspects or benefits of professional services without getting entirely generic, at best, or kinda goofy, at worst.

With that, here’s an annotated list of actual law firm slogans (HT: Brandon Gaille).  I didn’t pick the stupidest or the silliest; just a somewhat random array similar to those that you may have come across.[1]

All We Do Is Work.  How’s your entry-level recruiting going?

A Small Firm That Acts Big.  A bit defensive, no?

Character Comes Through.  Careful, there.

Clients First.  Probably not

Committed to Helping Our Clients Succeed.  As opposed to…?

Damn Fine Litigators.  I’m convinced.

Effective. Efficient. Expeditious.  Alliteration has its limits.

In any case.  Too cute by half.

Law, less ordinary.  Using different statutes?

Lawyers you’ll swear by. Not at.  Couldn’t resist.

Lawyers. Just Different.  Just how different, exactly?

Not If, But How.  Too heady for me.

Out in Front.  Of what?

Results Matter.  No kidding.

The International Law Firm for Business.  You and how many others?

There you have it; no need to belabor the point.

If you’ve come across law firm slogans that you think are noteworthy on any of a number of possible dimensions, please share.

Now get back to your Zoom meeting.

[1] With apologies to any past, present or future clients!